Why do I keep tricking myself into moving away from the life I want? Why do I keep making up things to do to not write? Why do I keep pulling work towards me that’s A: not suited for the introvert that I am and B: preventing me from focusing my energy on writing.
Why? An example of how this works in real life:
Me: I need to find a job that gives me a little more freedom
Also me: I need to do this grad school thing because otherwise my job is boring
Me: I have no time after work/school/family/social life (or more honest mental energy) to write
Present me: sitting in a high school trying my best to not fall apart, because I have to speak to a gazillion teenagers this year. I just want to go home and write.
Why do I keep moving when I know in my heart I need to stand still. Stand still and hold my ground.
Maybe I’m terrified.