Time Loop

I open my eyes. The day stretches before me like an unwritten text. I do the breakfast-thing, the taking-the-kids-to-school-thing and drive to work like I do every Monday. Once I’m there, I try to shake the feeling of dread holding my thoughts prisoner as I set out to do my work. My stomach demands food every hour because it knows my mind is bored. I do the calls, the documents, the appointments, forcing positivity and reality in my brain. (My job is okay, it pays good money and I don’t really hate it). More than once I think about writing, snippets of text fly through my brain and I wave them away. “Now, is not the time,” I say to myself. Knowing well enough, that NOW is all there is. When the day is done, I drive home to do the grocery thing- the cooking thing- the kids to bed thing and collapse on a chair to dive into Netflix or Prime, after which I go to bed.

Flash forward One week

I open my eyes. The day stretches before me like an unwritten text. I do the breakfast-thing, the taking-the-kids-to-school-thing and drive to work like I do every Monday. Once I’m there, I try

 Well, you know what’s going to happen. I do the same thing I did the week before. My writing dream hunts me, keeps fluttering in my brain but I stay away from it. Barely touching it. A line from Stephen King’s On writing is on repeat in my head. HOW MANY RERUNS OF ER CAN YOU WATCH.

The answer is (shamefully): a lot.

A lot of days flash by, turning into weeks, into months. Into a Time Loop, a prison of sorts I built for myself.

2020 is going to be the year I build myself another time loop. A time loop filled with words, color and story.

3 thoughts on “Time Loop”

  1. If writing is important to you, you have to make it a priority. I could easily repeat days like that but My secret is to find pockets of time for me. Writing on my mobile, writing in my lunch break, writing for just 30 mins or an hour in the evening before Netflix. The struggle is real & I have remember to allow myself time to relax and recharge. It’s important to forgive yourself (life will get in the way – sick kids, sleepless nights, etc) but remember you will find time and when you look back at your week or month, you will find progress.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are right of course! I will try to squeeze in extra moments like that. Thanks 🙂
      It’s not just the life gets in the way part but also, procrastination out of anxiety. Pff hard thing this writing thing is (sentence Yoda style).

      Liked by 1 person

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